The seige!

Though I am writing this many days after what happened...I really don't think I need to explicitely mention the attacks..the place..the time..anything...it is so fresh in the mind of not just every Indian..but the whole world...

I don't understand what is it...what is that 'motiation' so to say..that can actually make a person kill 100s and 1000s....How can they....What has happened to us...to the youngsters..to the future....WHY...

But keeping the 'humanitarian' me out of here...I really  think the Indian in me is all up in arms at the moment...We need to do something substantial...We just cant take  this lying down....We cant! Just cant!!

Jaago India Jaaago....

A call to every Indian....our alarm clock has rung....it has been ringing for quite some time now! Wake up!

Oye Lucky....Lucky Oye.....

It was probably a 3 star movie...though I doubt my 'company' for the movie agrees with me ;)

It definitely does not match the standards of 'Khosla ka ghosla' but it was not all that bad! khosla ka ghosla definitely was a class apart...but this flick was also ok kinds....Even though I again re-iterate that my company absolutely disliked the movie..but i really need to know why! Will take that up offline ;)

My favorite lyrics from the movie-

A B C D Chaida Mainu, Vadi Biddi Chaida Mainu Ctvv Chaida Mainu, Lcd Bhi Chaida Mainu Laal Murseri Chaidi Mainu, Laal Kila Bhi Chaida Mainu Haa Haa Chaida Ho Ho Chaida

:)

As a matter of fact..

Disclaimer: Similarities to 'Anyone'...'Someone' is purely intentional and not co-incidental!!!

I really have been wondering lately what on earth makes people talk the talk??? How can anyone just keep talking just for the heck of it!?? Actually not for the heck of it per say...the talks always are motive driven if nothing else...varied motives people have..some talk 'crap' just to buy time, to sort out some more crap in their head to speak...some to save themselves from the 'self-proclaimed' embarrassment of not knowing something (I really wonder rather than accepting that they don't know something and try and learn it, whats the big 'embarrassment fuss!!)...some trying to cover up something...but most doing it to please those who matter!!

I think I have covered all the categories, I suppose..you can add on a few more..let the experience speak!

But seriously...I think I have realised how I dislike such people and unfortunately I am surrounded by most of them! (No attempts at being politically correct here-for a change!)

I don't get it..why can't we just be normal..why do people have to be so shallow..I mean why can't people talk when they are talked to, required or genuinely know what they are talking about! How can people keep blabbering endlessly without a reason?? 

I believed..and still do when it comes to me...that this kinda behaviour does not take you far..but I guess there are enough reasons around me to prove me otherwise! 

I just hope that I don't falter and lose track!

Disclaimer: The above mentioned is a piece of fiction and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, if purely co-incidental & unintentional!

Mastam Mastam

deven yuuvraj....a good lookin dude..with a good looking female....and a funny 'Father in law'....2 brothers....Gyanesh (Under used in the movie) and Danny (funny choice of name..but...OVER Used)....songs put in here and there...with no logical reasoning.....

Its difficult to actually understand what was the movie made for??What was the reason??

In such grave time...economically speaking....not making this kind of flick could have save a lot of money!!!

Do not watch it!

Everythin bout the movie was weird..xcept for the company :)

A long time ago....

A long time ago there lived this girl...who dreamt of nymphs and elves....of fairies and the magic wands....

A long time 'after'....she still lives there...hoping for the magic wand to spin its magic...and get back the things which seem to be losing track!

A Quick Birthday Note..

It was good....nice.....great...fantastic..............I loved it........m still loving it....... :):):):)
It truely was a 'Happy Birthday to me' kinda feeling......and the feeling's just growing!! :)

Phir Dekhiye...

There always are those few songs..which touch that 1 special cord....well in my case...there always are many ;-)..But these days..out of the so many songs that are playing on my mind right now...I think it is 'Phir Dekhiye' from Rock On....It is..I don't might not be for many, but for me an inspirational number! Excellent lyrics....
"Annkhon mein jiske, koi to khwaab hai
khush hai wahi jo, thoda betaab hai...
Zindagi mein koi, aarzu kijiye..
Phir dekhiye"
I think the lyrics are 1 of the best ever for Javed Akhtar....Really cool! That Gulzar 'dust' does wipe off a bit..here n there... :)

Friday!

It is just a regular Friday that we all tend to have...a regular 'don't feel like working' feeling settled in...right from the day start.....everything is just soo soo Frida'ish'...but it still is different!!! And I am loving the difference!! :)

Songs...1990s

Just listening to radio gold..or whatever they call it, in the frequency terms- 106....there's this show running right now...which plays some really 'hip & happening' songs...'Aapki Farmaish' kinds...and its really funny the kind of songs people want to listen to, in this day and age..

Its not that I have not been a part of that brigade, which really 'loved' these songs in times they were released...though I don't really remember it too well how I reacted when they were 1st aired...but am sure I must've enjoyed listening to them...cause I know I surely did..after all we were not always in 2000s...

Actually come to think of it..there are not many songs..rather the kind of music that you listen to...that clings on to you...its very rare that a song that you really like today..might be topping your charts, probably 20years down the line as well....it is all so time bound! Everythin is actually so time bound, this is the reality!

Though there are so many songs..say from the 60s, 70s or even the 50s genre which I absolutely love...something happened in the 90s I guess..esp. the early 90s..to the quality of music..for sure....the songs that were made then...who listens to them now???? I mean really who does..except for a few stray songs here and there,....they all were so..cheesy!

I wonder how many really agree with me here...but I think..I really think..that was the worst phase of our music and 'fashion' industry....we talk bout the fashion industry later though ;)

Tick Tock Tick Tock....

It has been the longest day of my life...or so it feels......its like...how easily you let something just add on to your life and then when you..somehow..due to some reasons...not get it..for sonetime...the hands of that wall clock seem to be dragging on...terribly slow they are...

It has been such a long day......and even now the day does not seem to end...its just dragging on...I really cant wait any longer..it seems...I should'nt be so impatient, I know...but....somethings you just can't help.......

The Saturday 'day' fever!

Weekends have never  been too exciting..we can negate the 'too' as well...weekends have  never been exciting, though had a fantastic weekend last time...but still...whatever be the case...its been an absolutely boring saturaday so far...

No fun no excitement..nothing to do....dont even feel like 'acting lazy'..though those who know me would definitely know I am 'lazy' from the word go..and somehow i've just managed to rhyme....even though I thought doing so takes time...and I think this blog needs to end right here..or else...well....it already is a disaster..don't know what will happen if I continue..

The bottom line is..I am bored..I am bugged...

Traveller...

I think I have just realised that one of my favourite 'stress buster' activity of sorts, the other being shopping ;-), is travelling!!

I think I love travelling..though there are loads of places that I HAVE to visit...but still it all started well...probably cause of a lot of 'independece' of sorts that you get once you plunge into the 'earning' world, but that's how it is! Come to think of it, last 1 year or so has been filled with quite a few 'weekend getaways' of sorts..and thinking about them really pleases me a lot.... :)

So lets see....Jaipur...Mussoorie....Leh...Amritsar...Hyderabad...Vaishno Devi (Jammu)...I don't think i've missed out on any place here...so its like...12 months 6 places...that aint too bad, right?? But there still are soooo many places to see....and at present my wishlist has Khajuraho, Dharamshala, Dalhousie, Vaishno Devi (Again), B'lore, Pune, Kerela (The last three definitely not in the weekend category)...topping the charts!

Hopefully this year (Sept 2008-Sept 2009), would have them added on to my 'places visited' list along with a few more here and there!!

Bonjour! :-p

Kite Runner...

A fantastically written book this is.....Surely the 1st thought that comes to my mind! Even though took me ages to 'finally' read the book....but the time spent was all worth it!

It is ironical how, the writers, somehow just can manage to put in words the right thoughts at the right time in the 'rightest' manner (Not a dictionary reference here!). But this is the truth!

Reading Amir's account of his 'old' and 'new' days...his account of the web of relationships that he had spun around himself..his 'relationship with the relationships'...everything...comes across as so very normal and so very 'you'!

I guess we all, at one point or the other, end up feeling all dazed. We all have our secrets...we all have a way of dealing with them..we all have our share of 'back-stabbings', whichever side of the 'back' we might be on....we all, at one point or the other, have made decisions...decisions to move on.....

A beautiful book....so simple yet so moving!! Surely a Must Read!

The indecisive me!

I used to think I am a Libran to the core...Even though I do feel the same, still, but somehow the belief seems to have been challenged...A libran to the core would mean living upto the 'balance' symbol in the least. But that somehow does not always happen..Believe me its tough, to strike that balance, am not even competing for the 'perfect balance' here!

But yes 1 thing that does make me a perfect Libran- my indecisive nature! And no one can beat me at that! I think this is one, probably the only one these days, that I carry with myself, in the most perfect manner as can be!

To be or not to be.....just added it in the end, to add that 'just like this' feel!!

Time!

Always too late......

Ik Nazm..

yeh raah bahut aasan nahi...
jis raah par haath chuda kar tum...
yun tan0tanha chal nikali ho...
is khauf se shayad raah bhatak jao na kahin...
har maud par maine nazm khadi kar rakhi hai....

thak jao agar---
aur tumko zaroorat pad jae...
ik nazm ki ungali thaam kar wapis aajaana...


-Gulzar

Numbers.......

17
22
24
29
31
1
27
25
1
........

Of cinderellas and belles......

I hope i live this dream...till I have the fairy tale ending........

--Blank--

Have you ever felt like holding on to something for a little longer..a lifetime probably?? Ever felt like undoing and then redoing certain things so that it would all be 'fairy tale' kinds?? Ever felt that you need a complete revamp of sorts?? Ever felt that things need a change, but most importantly, its you who needs a complete change?? Ever felt how absolutely incapable you are, of handling situations, handling people?? Ever felt how absolutely incapable you are of handling happiness, leave alone passing it on to others?? Ever felt miserably distant from something you were at a distance 'huggingly' close?? Ever felt that anything and everything that matters is nowhere in sight?? Ever felt absolutely impossible to be the way you want to be?? Ever felt blank and bursting with thoughts, feelings and emotions at the same time?? Ever felt like just running away..forever and ever and ever??? Ever felt like talking but with no words?? Ever felt like nothing??

Mora Saiyan mose bole na - Fuzon

Saawan Beeto Jaye Pe Harwa
Mann Mera Ghabraye
Aeso Gaye Pardes Piya Tum
Cheyn Humain nahin Aye

Mora Saiyaan moh sey bolay Na
Laakh Jatan Kar Haar Rahi
Mora Saiyyan Moh Say Bolay Na

Tu Jo Nahin to Aisay Piya hum
Jaisay Soona Aanganaa
Nain Tehaari Rah Neeharey
Nainnan Ko Tarsaona

Pyar Tumhain Kitna Kartay Hain
Tum Yeh Samajh Nahin Pao gay
Jab Hum Na Hongay to Peharwa
Bolo Kya Tab Aao gay

Mora Saiyaan moh Sey Bolay Na
Laakh Jatan Kar Haar Rahi

Hope against hope hopen....

I never really liked this phrase - " Hope against hope hopen", though it always made that 'xing thing' sound..if you know what I mean....But it now seems that the 'xing thing' actually has become the 'jinxed thing' for me...

Do we actually hope against hope?? And what happens then?? Does the hope win or the 'against hope' part return victorious?? Silly questions with am sure no answers whatsoever!

Guess its just a state of mind that I am in right now, which aint that 'sunny'!!! Actually i am trying to contemplate whether it is me or the forces around which are not in the 'best of health and spirits'!!

To All Who End Up Reading This:: Kindly do not think a lot!! Just a phase when I write just for my understanding!

Just a bit longer....

Just read it somewhere-

"Leaf's departure is because of the wind's pursuit. Or because the tree didn't ask her to stay......"

Simple and yet so true...Sometimes, even if we want to hold on to something, for just a bit longer, it is what we want that matters....It is whether that wants to stay on with us or not....It does not always matter whether you want to let go or not. Sometimes its the other way round!

Sweet temptation syndrome!

I think i love chocolates for precisely 2 reasons...

one off course cause i love them! (How obvious was that ;) ) But more than that..the other reason strikes out...its probably 1 of the most relaxing therapies that I have ever found to calm me down....

Its wrong but I somehow am addicted to this chocolate thingy! There are times when you feel absolutely helpless and down and out kinds....I think more than anything I desparately need a chocolate then....I am addicted....

And if this is addiction..then I think I am addicted...addicted to you! (that goes beyond chocolates :))

Some days are like that.....

How many times do we get that too good too bad feeling???? I do...almost always..either the world seems such a beautiful place...its like that 'heaven on earth' kinda feeling or it tends to be the 'hellish' experience! But the heavenly ones always help you leave behind the hellish ones...and thats not intentional off course..but it just happens..I think its with all, not just me..that we tend to get all 'high' on the 'good' part...but with me..i guess i just live those moments...and then re-live them...again and again and again...thats how I am, I guess...living the fairy tale over and over again....probably this makes the bad ones worst....

Why cant we just be happy....content....always....why do we need to be a part of those situations where in you cant really help anything..its that helpless feeling....we dont really need that! I dont for sure.....But no one ever has been able to run away from those...

There always are those highs and lows......but its the lows which actualy make the highs 'high'....if that makes any sense!!!!!!!I think it does to me.....;)

But the lows for me..are just too low to actually get out of sometimes!!! I think have had enough of these..i need a little high for sumtime..a lifetime wud do......and not many things or people can give me that!

Words...

"She whispered his name with the deliberation of a child trying out the distinct sounds. When he replied with her name, it sounded like a new word- the syllables remained the same, the meaning was different. Finally he spoke the three simple words that no amount of bad art or bad faith can ever quite cheapen. She repeated them, with exactly the same slight emphasis on the second word, as though she were the one to say them first. He had no religious belief but it was impossible not to think of an invisible witness or presence in the room, and that these words spoken aloud were like signatures on an unseen contract."

Guncha Koi.....

A perfect song...for some of the choicest moments!

Guncha Koi- Mohit Chauhan:

Gunja koi tere naam kar diya,
Sakhi ne fir se mera jaam bhar diya...
Tum jaisa nahi koi is jahan mein,Subah ko teri julf ne shaam kar diya.....Sakhi ne fir se mera jaam bhar diya... Gunja koi tere naam kar diya,
Sakhi ne fir se mera jaam bhar diya...
Mehfil bar bar idhar, dekha kiye,Aankhon k jazeeron ko mere naam kar diya…Sakhi ne fir se mera jaam bhar diya... Gunja koi tere naam kar diya,
Sakhi ne fir se mera jaam bhar diya...
Hum toh tehre tere dar ke fariyadi,
Teri aadaon ne mera chain hai liya...
Gunja koi tere naam kar diya,
Sakhi ne fir se mera jaam bhar diya...
Aati hai halke se aahat teri jo,
Khilta hai sun ke mera jism aur jiya...
Gunja koi tere naam kar diya,
Sakhi ne fir se mera jaam bhar diya...
Aankho mai har pal tujhko rakhu mai,
Neend mai bhi humne tera deedar hai kiya...
Gunja koi tere naam kar diya,
Sakhi ne fir se mera jaam bhar diya...
Honth hai ke jaise koi chalka pemana,
Bin piye hi mujhko to sanam hai hua nasha...
Gunja koi tere naam kar diya,
Sakhi ne fir se mera jaam bhar diya...
Tum jaisa koi nahin is jahan mein,
Subah ko teri zulfon ne shaam kar diyaaaa...
Gunja koi tere naam kar diya,
Sakhi ne fir se mera jaam bhar diya...
Hosh bekhabar se hue un ke bager,
Hum jo unse keh na sake dil ne keh diya...
Gunja koi tere naam kar diya,
Sakhi ne fir se mera jaam bhar diya...
Bheja hai Khudane mujhe chahne tujhe,
Chahat mai teri sanam har pal hu mai luta...
Gunja koi tere naam kar diya,
Sakhi ne fir se mera jaam bhar diya...
Hai nahi karna mujhe koi gila,
Kismat ne jo mujhse tujhe dur hai kiya...
Gunja koi tere naam kar diya,
Sakhi ne fir se mera jaam bhar diya...
Bhulana tujhko hai sanam mushkil bada,
Pemana bhi kambhakt mujhe dikhlata chehra ye tera...
Gunja koi tere naam kar diya,
Sakhi ne fir se mera jaam bhar diya...
Gum jaise dost koi sath rehta hai,
Lagta hai darr ab mujhe sunke khushiyon ki sada...
Gunja koi tere naam kar diya,
Sakhi ne fir se mera jaam bhar diya...
Nazrana dard ka jo humko hai mila,
Itna hi kasoor mera ke ishq hai kiya...
Gunja koi tere naam kar diya,
Sakhi ne fir se mera jaam bhar diya...
Gunja koiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...

Shauk hai......Guru

Somehow this is one song that exactly describes how I feel most of the times....or so I feel.........

Raat ka shauk hai

Raat ki saundhi si khamoshi ka
Shauk hai

Subha ki roshni
Bezubaan subho ki aur gungunati
Roshni ka Shauk hai, ho shauk hai
San sani anwlon ka
Ke ishq ke banwlon ka
San sani anwle
Ke ishq ke banwle
Barf se khelte badolon ka
Shauk hai
Kaash ye zindagi Khel hi khel mein kho gayi hoti
Raat ka shauk hai
Neend ki goliyon ka
Khwab ke loriyon ka
Neend ki goliyan
Khwab ke loriyan
Bezubaan aus ki boliyon ka
Shauk hai
Kaash ye zindagi binkahe binsune so gayi hoti
Subha ki roshni
Bezubaan subho ki aur gungunati
Roshni ka Shauk hai, ho shauk hai

Once upon a time.....we had a time machine!

Just today, that person who had instilled in me the ‘blogging bug’, has yet again invoked the ‘writer’ in me…

This one’s for u Puru… :)

I remember having had started my writings; if I may call them so, with purpose of life and sorts…life has come a complete circle….oh alright! I know your expression precisely…m not starting off with my ‘non-sense-depressing-talks’ here….rather m just contemplating the fact that how after so many years, of growing up, turning into a mature adult, I am back to my basic self…back to something I am best at….something absolutely true to my heart & me, myself….back to being a kid that I was….long long ago…..once upon a time…in the never never land!!! :) Am back to being the Thumbelina and belle…..back to being me!

seems like i've just made a trip into the time machine and have decided to stay there......where I belong!

:)

Paradise lost......and re-built!!

Have already changed the starting 3 tmies...I somehow can't figure out how to begin....but somehow listening to mission kashmir's song today, I just couldn't help but think about my 'roots' so to say.....

I was really young when we left Srinagar...in senior KG...but there still are many 'sights' etched perfectly in my memory as if I was there, present, just about..umm...yesterday!

The house we lived in...all of us..it was so huge.....with a 'wonderfully' big, very well maintained garden in front...lots of roses and panzies and 'dog-flowers'...(the name used to make me wonder do they actually bark...but to my diasspointment, they didnt.. ;-) )....the garden was fenced by lush green evergreen....Trust me...it was a huge place... :) I think I loved it... :)

Now the interiors...ummm....A verandah to start with....this place holds a lot of 'not-so-pleasent' memories for me....was responsible for giving me my 'mark'...the house had a staircase inside..that smelt of the freshly painted paint (what an irony!!)..I think it was painted pink..or magenta...we had that 'tring tring' phone to support the decor..if u know what I mean... :) MY room was to ur left, as soon as u entered the house...towards the rite hand side was the living room...go straight and left would have the 'bedding' room and right would be my grand-parents's room (I wonder if the english is right!! :-O)..

As I was 'known' for my 'socialising' skills, I think I remember quite a few of my neighbours houses as well....that was a nice place......really nice...though I have hardly spent any time there, but it was more 'homely' to me than the places that I have shifted into over the last 18yrs or so...

This house of mine was brought down on the 26th of January, 1991...the last remains in the valley.... I dont know was it good or bad, that we moved to this 'metro'...Most people might think I no longer 'belong' to that place called 'Srinagar, Kashmir'....after all I have spent most of my life here...there is no 'connection'...But am sure I'll have people who know me agreeing when I say that I feel I am more 'kashmiri' that probably most of the 'proper kashmiris', if not more, no less for sure!! :)

But I love it here as well...I love where I am...where I have been...where I have reached....I love everything about everything.....I am a happy soul....my paradise was never lost I guess..... :)
Hail Kashmir!! :D

Of fire & smoke & the valley....

Dhuan dhuan....dhuan dhuan....dhuan dhuan....dhuan hi dhuan...

Ye saazishein dishaon ki..

Ye saazishen hawaan ko!

Lahu lohan ho gayi...

Zameen ye devtaon ki!

Na shankh ki sdaen hain, na ab sada azan ki

Nazar meri zameen ko, lagi hai asmaa ki!

Hain dar badar ye log kyun..

Jalen hain kyun makaan!

Ye kisne aag daal di..

Hai narm narm ghaas par!

Likha hua hai zindagi, yahan har ek lash par....

Ye takht ki ladai hai, ye kursiyun ki jang hai..

Yeh begunah khoon bhi, siyasaton ka rang hai!

Lakeer khench di gayi, dilon k darmiyan!!

- Mission Kashmir

The Enchanted!

Once upon a time there lived a prince...and a beautiful damsel.....they met, & fell in love....the wicked qween....could'nt bear to see her crown be taken away from her...she sent the damsel to a place where there are no 'happily ever afters'.......
Aaaaaaaaa.....

It still feels so wonderful to be a part of some place called 'Andolasia'...to be a part of the princes & the princesses...to be a part of 'happily ever afters'...for ever and ever......

Saw the movie Enchanted just yesterday and what a fun-filled, 'satisfying' experience that was....It took away all the 'pressures' and 'worries' of this 'not-so-nice' world....made me a kid again...made me wanna dream of the fairies and the tales...took me back to a place in time where I had built a palace of my own...where it was all so rosy & pink....It made me get back to the 'real' me-the 'kid' me...

It was an excellent movie to watch..hope to catch more of these filcks every now and then....

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....

(If u're wondering what this 'aaaaaaaaa' is, go watch enchanted ASAP!!) :-D

'Smilies' all the way.....

Smilies.....we never bother to actually spare a thought for these small combinations of 'special characters', do we...and its absolutely unfair that I, of all people, have never actually given them a 'special mention'...

:-), ;-), :-O, :-D..etc...etc.....etc....these combinations have become an 'integral' part of my existance I feel...seriously...these are one of those 'trademark-me' symbols....My sentances start & end with them....my expressions start & end with them...my thought take their 1st flight & these are the end...(maybe a bit of exaggeration here!;-)) But seriously I fail to understand how..absolutely HOW...can a person not include them in their conversations??!!

People find it strange but I find it extremely hard to actually write a proper sentence without giving these smilies their due importance!!! Genuinely!! Even if its writing a mail to the manager I need their help!!! Seriously...they shud..must..become an official letter writing symbol!!

Don't know about all...but I am absolutely in love with them!! :)

Time of my life..................

I always thought leaving behind people was tough....a thought that came to me as a matter-of-fact rather than something that had been a part of me! But I guess, unlike most of the times (keeping in view the recent past), I was right! Though somewhere down the line, in the initial 'changing' years of mine, I'd got myself to beleive that everything & everyone is momentarily yours, but I guess its just not in me to be a mere spectator... I get attached to things...to people...to situations...to everything...extremely easily...and I know it so well that it is NOT good....not good for someone like me...who tends to act in the spur of the moment!

I guess there have been enough situations & I have learnt to learn...the hard way i.e. But now I think its time...time for a complete 'revamp' of sorts... I have been there..done that...and now all I wanna be a part of is 'me'...No more letting others lead the way...I am a big girl now... On the cross-roads, when I find myself there, there would be just one voice leading my way.....and that would be mine!! :)