Thursday, June 21, 2007

To miss you or not....

This is a strange time...not only am I about to get away from the people I've literally lived with 24/7 for the last 4 years but also the people I've lived with for the whole of my life!! This is a weird feeling...Just about a month back I was just too excited about the prospects of living alone..more than that the idea of letting the 'independent me' take control of life seemed a real exciting prospect. But last few days, I have been getting those sleepless nights, wondering how good a life will I lead without the regular 'rok tok' of folks at home!!

Actually more than thinking about how easy or difficult the adjustment is gonna be there for me, there are two aspects that have been giving me these sleepless nights! I have absolutely no clue as to how many people in my position actually feel the way I am at this point fo time...I really am new to this 'pack your bags' cult!

The first thing is- How will I be able to take this whole thing of not being able to see my family every single day??It is difficult for me to imagine that I'll just have to satisfy myself with their voice everyday (It goes iwthout saying that we'll be talking every day, many times!!). This whole arrangement is even more difficult for me knowing how I have spent my 22 years of life!! Everyone used to be amused when I could just tell, pure intuition, when my dad would knock on the door, and I was always spot on! I still remember when I was in class 3 or 4, my sixth sense was not that good at that point of time, strike 6 and I was out patrolling on the roads, wondering when dad would be back home..waiting..Dad and me have always shared that perfect relationship..I just dont remember even a singe day when I've had to 'not speak' to him. He is just perfect. The idea of having to stay without him even for a week at a stretch has never been entertained by my senses.

Mum and me share an extremely spicy relationship :) 1 thing I keep thinking about when I think of this 'staying alone' thing is that who will give me my 'much needed' cup of tea as soon as I am back from office. I've just got too used to a royal treatment as soon as I come home- be it from school, college or anywhere! Mum and food, they just go together. I just hope I dont starve there, cause no one but my mum can put up with my tantrums!

This family of mine can just not be complete without the mention of this 1 person...She sure has guessed it by now...yes its YOU! Well, I really dont want to ponder on what kind of relationship we've had- its too complex! The thing is that, barring the last 1 year, She's been out of home for almost 6 years..hence it 'would have been' easier to get away without having to miss her too much, but last 1 year or so, there's been a lot happening to make sure I miss her too. Actually its funny I cant tyhink of a single good thing that I'll miss about her ;) oh off course I'll miss her pasta treat :p I'll miss a lot of things, be it our fights or our late night riyaaz sessions...A lot!!

I am in such a fix right now, I have no idea what I want more at this point of time-Is it that I want to stay here or I am ok with going away..I dont know!!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

well written ,u r control over the language was great in school in these 4 yys u have only added to it
i myself living away fr tthe family had these same feelings , i guess thats what compelled me to write this comment, only thing is atleast mention where r u going after b tech
pay my regards to u mom.oops!!!!!! mam



well u must be guessing who i am well .....











keep guessing

Vatsala said...

Well I surely can guess that v were in the same school!![;)]It wud b great help if u take out the "annonymous" tag![:)]