Friday, July 15, 2005

men, women & brfeakups

“Hey sweet heart have other matters to look into”, “honey you know that I love you it’s just that right now there are other more important things”… Though just a few months back he seemed to have all the time in the world for us but then what happened all of a sudden…did he realize that this world is something much more than roses and candies or something else has just changed…. well no matter how much they disagree with us but somewhere down the lane either our dear boyfriends/lovers (as they like to be called) start taking us for granted or just loose their interest in us.It starts with a simple “take it easy” kind of statements. All of a sudden whatever small little things that used to make him happy project themselves as your way of over doing things to him!! All of a sudden you are asked to take chill pills. All of a sudden your calling up once a day seems to be just a little to much when earlier you were expected to talk to him for as long as you could…message all night long but unfortunately for now all you do is represent your love on a 72mm screen when there is no need to even project it on a 5mm one!!An insight into a man’s mind and heart!! Where is it that a guy actually deals with his love issues from? His heart or mind or both? What is more important to him-an Indo-Pak series or his so called love? What exactly are the things he expects from his girl friend?This is a strange little world of love and hate but this world becomes stranger when guys love someone in one instant while as loose their interest the other!!! Many a times it becomes a blink-and-you-miss-it kind of an affair!!Its not that the girls don’t loose their interest or actually stay glued to one person but then they can never beat a guy in his speed of making and breaking hearts!!All a girl can do is try and understand her guy for a few days until this understanding thing becomes a little too complicated for her sane mind, and then when she realizes that something might just be wrong and asks him what is it…the statement she gets-“I always knew that you understand me so well, but guess this I am just not worth you……” and at one of those insensitive days might just get a very harsh but straight reply-“guess we should break up, am just not interested in you any longer”What does a girl do now? Well nothing but just sulk for a few days try and forget her misery but then it is so difficult for her to do so. Do the guys ever realize how easy it is to break a heart but how very difficult it is to mend a broken heart? It’s true that girls are a little more emotionally attached in a relationship but then at least they are attached in some manner in a relationship. Most of the times all a guy asks for is a more of a physical relationship than an emotional one and hence it is easier for him to cope up with a break up than it is for a girl.Though I must add before signing off that not all men are alike their might just be a few chosen one who are committed but then sorry guys your percentage wont even be counted as a decent minority!! Why do we, girls, let someone come so close to us that when the time comes to let go we are totally devastated? Can’t this situation be avoided? Can we not be in a relationship the way guys are- Just so casual? Guess no…and probably this is the reason the men are from mars while women are from venus!!!Or is it the other way round??? Whichever way it is…we don’t belong to the same planet!!

6 comments:

Shaunak said...

Actually, guys like to have things changing all the time. I don't mean they like having different people to woo every day or, for that matter, different girlfriends every other day.

And besides, if you're in a relationship, you shouldn't even be comparing yourself with an Indo Pak Series.

Unknown said...

the thing is we always give wht we expect..so jus rem it works tht way on both sides..
wht i mean is if u fig wht ur getting u can kno wht is expected of u..
wen u feel u give more..its cos u expect it back too..
so,chill even if things go rong..ur not done with the options cos u hv them all till ur alive!
Enjoy life!!

Anonymous said...

arent u too young to have a complete picture...u know what, just from ur other blog, a coin has 2 sides, u are one of the sides, u wud take some time to realise the other side, but u wud...

Shishir said...

Ne hints abt u

Anonymous said...

I wud actually agree to what u have written. I think yes women r very much more emotionally attached in a relationship, thats for sure... And the only solution i can see to this problem is for girls to avoid such relationships at an age for which it is notmeant to. I dont know if i can make u understand this, but its not that u girls cant handle men like that, but i think probably a lil bit more maturity can help a lot to deal with such situations. Relationships at skool or college shud be avoided only due to the fact that a relationship needs more maturity to take care of it and both, the guy and the girl, r not grown up enuff to handle that. And abt the physical thing, i believe u girls know how to take care of those guys who r only for physical relations...

Anonymous said...

Observe your parents -- do they not fight? But at least in India, they don't break up!! Have you ever wondered, why? I guess, it is because they are together, not JUST for the physical and emotional supports they get from each other, but because they ALSO share a common responsibility to someone else -- may be their children, may be their parents, may be their society, or in the best case their God.

Imagine two balls, hanging from a single point. Now give the two balls the freedom that they want, let them move wherever they want. Don't you think they will again come together? Certainly, because they are bound to the same but a higher point. But in case, the point were to be on an equal level -- say we bring that point down to a table and rest the two balls on the same table -- then when we give freedom to the two balls, what is the probability that they will meet again?

This is just an analogy, but it picturises some of the subtleties of all relationships. The two balls are two people who relate to each other. The common point is the common principle or motive for the two people's coming together. Are you getting it?

In modern boy-girl relationships in schools, colleges and workplaces, usually, the common principle seems to me nothing higher than having a good time. This seems to me so selfish. So what’s the surprise -- they break up -- may be because they just want a change!! For instance, when there were prayers in our school, they used to sing the same prayer every day. But when we sing just to have fun, how many times do we repeat a song? Well, Vatsala, why can't we be loyal to a particular song?? Well, we want a change, just for fun!! Then how is it that we could sing the same prayer everyday?

Higher principle? Will that work?

I understand, it is difficult to lead our lives holding on to some principle. Then, our freedom becomes limited. But it's a choice we have to make. May be some amount of sacrifice has to be volunteered -- if not for our shake, at least for the shake of someone or some principle.